Burwarton Show, at last

The Show

"Welcome to Burwarton Show in deepest Shropshire" declared Hollering Henry Yates, the voice of Burwarton. The term 'deepest Shropshire' seemed to carry the same sort of connotation as 'darkest Africa'. I'm sure he didn't mean for it to come out that way - the Africans would be livid!
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How can I explain Burwarton Show to someone who's never experienced it?
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Well, it's an agricultural show that takes place on the first Thursday in August each year and it's been going on annually for over 100 years. The organisers claim it's one of the biggest one day shows in the country with about 20,000 visitors each year.

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(Visit the website here http://www.burwartonshow.co.uk/)

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Basically, what it boils down to, is a day out for a load of farmers to walk around a field, catching-up with their friends and taking in as many free drinks as possible from trade stands as they go. (Usually, people on trade-stands will give free drinks to loyal customers; it's good business sense, I imagine.) Some of them (the farmers I mean) go the extra mile and show off their livestock and produce as well. Others even help out by stewarding, which probably gets them in for free.

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For those who are less agriculturally minded there's a funfair in an adjoining field as well as burger vans and main ring entertainment such as the Honda Imps pictured above (2003).

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There's always a bit of a horse riding (over jumps) competition too. I only mention this now because it seems my cousin/alter-ego (you decide) won it this year.

Open Competition for Registered Horses

1st - Will-E-Squeak - Karen Bosworth

2nd - Kings Archer - HannahJackson

3rd - Bordino D - Mark McCourt.

The visitors break down roughly into three groups:

1. Farmers and countryfolk.

2. Townies who like to pretend to be countryfolk for the day - they are quite easy to pick out.

3. Townies who make no pretence of being interested in farming or countryside issues, they just go for the beer and sunshine.

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Trade Stands

There's quite a varied selection of trade stands with representatives from banks, insurance brokers, car dealers, seed suppliers, country crafts and anyone else who wants to sell stuff that's not necessarily relevant to farming.

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One that sticks in the mind is a clothes stall that had T-Shirts sporting such country witicisms as Trust me, I'm a Young Farmer! and Sod mucking-out I'm knackered! I can't help thinking that somebody somewhere considers him/herself a comedy genius for coming up with these slogans. The thought of that drives me to despair.

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Each year one of the trade stands is deemed to be the best and wins a prize, and usually it's Callow Oils - this year was no exception. Last year their stand was excellent because they had a 1920/30's style band called The Casablanca Steps who played a brilliantly entertaining set evoking the spirit of Jeeves and Wooster, of whom I am a big fan. Here's their website http://www.casablanca-steps.co.uk/

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Nevertheless, I feel the the prize should have gone to another stand this year. That is, the one pictured to the left. There was really nothing special about this stand, in fact I didn't actually visit it. However, as you can see, it was quite popular. There was no shortage of people who wanted to drink there and that's what I think was almost miraculous. Why? Let's have a closer look at the flag shall we.

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Can you see that? What's it called? Semen World! That's what! I think they should take the prize for having the audacity, or should I say, the balls, to so name their stand. Just goes to show, they cater for all tastes at Burwarton.

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Main Ring Entertainment

This year's main entertainment was a bit of a departure from previous years, not a motorbike in sight! This year it was The Devil's Horsemen (some of whom were female) also known as The Cossack Trick Riding Display. As if to prove their Cossack credentials, they insisted on shouting either 'Hey!' or something that sounded like 'Dos widania' (Russian for 'Goodbye' I think) as they went past. I was tempted to find them afterwards and demand that they give back my rubber chicken but I know the phrase in Polish not Russian and it became obvious that none of the team were Russian, or even foreign, during the course of their display.

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Their announcer was good enough to tell us that the team has featured in many Hollywood blockbusters. Such as: Bwaveheart, Wob Woy, and Tombwaider. However, it soon became apparent that some of them didn't know the first thing about riding horses. (See pic. to the right) All the same, my mum thought it was the best thing they've ever had at the show.

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Other things in the main ring this year included a Gun-dog display which was very, very unimpressive. Essentially, it was a man throwing a toy squirrel and getting one of his labradors to fetch it for him. I could do that with my dog.

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Then they brought in the hounds - a political move due to the ban on hunting with hounds. The compere for this bit promised that they would continue to hunt within the law, and yet made this particular law and the government that passed it sound like a tyrannical regime on a par with the worst excesses of Nazi Germany.

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Speaking of Nazi Germany, the last item in the ring was a bit of a military fiasco. Some enthusiasts came driving their vintage military vehicles into the ring. They drove around and around the ring until everyone got dizzy while they tried to find someone to take the microphone and tell the crowds what was going on. They eventually found/bribed(?) a willing victim who made a good fist of it considering the circumstances.

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Other Attractions

Each year there's a little corner of the field, on the way to the funfair, which is fenced off. Within the fence one sees stationary engines that sit in their open air museum, pumping water enlessly from one ice-cream box to another and back again -such as the one pictured. (sorry it's not very clear, I tried to get this one by stealth) I'm always puzzled to know what these engines were used for, there's no explanation given, they just seem to sit there chugging along blowing out smoke and steam, doing their bit to warm up the planet. They obviously wouldn't want to carry them out to the field, so, my best guess is that they were used to power saw mills.

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But then I thought, why would anyone go to the trouble of bringing these incredibly heavy things out and sitting in a zoo pen all day at the show? Ah, I thought, the answer is in their little faces.

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Well, there's your introduction to Burwarton Show. I hope you enjoyed it. Of course, I haven't finished yet - livestock to follow.