A Glimmer of Optimism

Maybe, just maybe, God is working in a very mysterious way.
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If he is, he is working in a way that surprises and offends me, is that normal?

Feeling Sinful

I've been feeling very sinful lately, more than ever before. Not that I've actually done anything sinful so much as I've been thinking about being sinful and entertaining thoughts of being sinful. But that's sinful enough according to the Sermon on the Mount and I think the Sermon on the Mount is a pretty good guide.

I wonder if there will come a time when I will look back upon my present situation and see it as an epic battle for my mind. If I am to achieve my dream I think it would be better not to do anything I might regret, better for my self-respect. Could it be that I'm experiencing testing because of God's call on my life? That's not really for me to say, the interpretation of such things is ridiculously subjective. If we experience good times we say God is blessing us because we're doing something right, if we have bad experiences we say Satan is attacking us because we're doing something right. I don't really think it works like that.

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All I know is that I seem to be a bit of a freak and it would be nice to find some other freaks who could accept me.

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[I forgot to mention that I went to church on Sunday morning, it was a Fresh Expressions meeting, and the theme was trusting God. And the text was the epic scene of Jesus' temptation. The point was brought out that Jesus needed to trust God for his calling in order to turn down the tempations he was faced with. This seemed to be a timely message for me, if I were to allow myself to be 'sinful' it would be like I was giving up on my calling, and my dream. But it seems that there are no garuntees with such a slippery concept as calling or with dreams. I've had disappointments before but somehow I hold on in hope, it seems that God works that way, he just keeps us hanging on. I hope I won't regret it.]

Feeling Spiritual

It started on a Thursday evening a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to catch-up with some sleep and I heard bits of an interview with Jonny Wilkinson on Radio 5. The intro said he would speak openly about various aspects of his life including his religion – that almost got my attention as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

Wilkinson spoke so openly about his religion that I never figured out which religion he follows. I’ve done the listen again thing on the BBC website but I’m none the wiser. As far as I can tell he believes in karma and he spoke of a ‘higher power’ so I wondered whether he might follow some form of Buddhism but I don’t really know. Whatever it is, it was interesting to hear him speak of his efforts to better himself.

One thing he mentioned was assessing himself each day and reflecting on how he might improve – not just his rugby but himself generally. He also talked about a principle he has learned from a coach by which he imagines that all his actions are recorded on a camera. With this in mind he tries not to do anything which would not be approved of by the people he respects, or the ‘higher power’.

I was impressed and inspired by his incredible efforts to better himself continually. It seems like a form of spirituality that anyone can agree is good, regardless of religion, though it may be out of the reach of many, and it might drive one to insanity. All the same, it seems to me that the world would be a better place if we all made a bit more effort to reflect on our actions and improve ourselves. Obviously we wouldn’t all agree exactly on what makes a person good but I reckon there are some points on which most of us could agree.

Wilkinson also talked about being conscious of the decisions we make, not just the big decisions but the little ones too, especially those little mundane decisions that we don’t think about because we act habitually. Maybe if we were truly aware of all those little decisions we would be a step closer to being truly free but sometimes we don’t want to be.

Such devotion puts me to shame and most other Christians I would wager. This left an impression on me that lingered throughout the next day at work. I was in the downstairs part of the shop late in the afternoon when a woman came in whom I recognised from the day before. It was easy to recognise her because there was something unusual about her. Her head was down and she looked like she’d been painting a house, somehow it was obvious that she was on the edge of society in some way. Not that there was anything wrong with her necessarily just that she didn’t feel accepted by mainstream society for whatever reason.

She picked up a card with a poem on it entitled ‘Be Courageous’ and asked me whether people normally buy them for themselves or for others, I didn’t really think it mattered and I didn’t really know either. At this point she was a bit embarrassed as she tried to explain her situation, “You’re going to think I’m daft… …it’s for my hamster, he died the other day and I wanted to get something for him, I loved that hamster… …I’ve got kids but they’ve grown up and moved on now, so it was good to have the hamster”

Naturally, I was a little surprised by this but I thought it would be rude to laugh and I didn’t want to because I felt sorry for her. I thought quickly to myself regarding my view on praying for dead animals, I don’t have any special views on what happens to animals when they die but then I thought it wouldn’t necessarily be inappropriate to ask God to bless them wherever they may be. The evangelical objection to praying for the souls of the dead doesn’t seem to work if animals don’t have souls and if they do have souls, are they liable to judgment?

I told her “I don’t have any special view about what happens to animals when they die” but I also told her about my old dog Muttley who died a couple of years ago. I thought it might help if I showed that I know what it’s like to feel attachment to a pet. She seemed to really appreciate this and said that she had been really angry the day before because she went to the Cathedral and asked one of the ministers there to pray for her hamster, apparently he just told her to go and pray for it herself.

She was so appreciative of the fact that I would listen (not that I always have such a choice when customers decide to tell me things) and that I could empathise with her it lifted my spirits quite a lot too. I started to think about ‘calling’ though it’s a bit of a minefield if you ask me. After a couple of very discouraging comments from people in positions of authority this social leper had helped to resurrect some self-belief in me. I thought if I am to work with a church, my primary gift might well be a willingness to talk to the people who others ignore. Not that I always do this – there are plenty of people who get excluded because they are difficult to get on with, I’m not so good with them – but I do feel I have a certain affinity with outsiders, especially international people, probably because I often feel a bit of an outsider myself.

All this time I’ve been focussing on my goal of helping people to develop a critical awareness of the Bible; hopefully giving them the tools to investigate things for themselves rather than making bold assertions and ‘proof-texting’. I still hope to be able to do this and I think my old teacher provided an excellent role model for this kind of teaching which I hope to emulate but I think it would be more effective if people perceive some godly character in me too. (That’s not to suggest that people didn’t perceive godly character in my old teacher, I once heard one of his sternest critics say he couldn’t ‘fault his walk with God’) My gift to the Church (should the Church accept it) is an awareness of my own weakness and an ability to be open about it, sometimes. (Hopefully that doesn't mean I say things like 'even I am weak sometimes' which has the clear implication that I'm not as weak as my audience) I might also add that I think I have an ability to say the wrong thing at the right time; my Pentecostal upbringing gives me little respect for rigid traditions and sometimes even social conventions.

As I drove to my parents’ place after work that evening, the words of Paul came to mind:

1 Cor. 1:27-29 God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God
chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is
low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing
things that are, so that no one might boast in the presence of
God.

And regarding his 'thorn in the flesh':

2 Cor. 12:10 for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

Maybe my ‘thorn in the flesh’ is a sort of social awkwardness but that social awkwardness affords me some kinship with other outsiders, ‘when I am weak, then I am strong’.

I also found myself remembering the words of a song I tried to write some years ago but never knew how to finish, I even thought that this might be the time to finish it – I failed. But I did find myself reciting the first (and only) verse and feeling that I was renewing the sentiment with which I wrote it in 1999, though with a somewhat different understanding.

Jesus, my life, it’s in your hands
Pieces, broken, mould me in your plan
Shattered dreams, selfish schemes, I leave them at your feet
Weakness, impurity, it’s your mercy that I need

(Any ideas of where to take it from there anyone?)

Jesus and Superman

It was Angsoc's turn to do Wednesday Worship this week so we had a hastily arranged meeting on Monday afternoon to organise it. Only the chair and I were able to make it so I took on the task of giving the talk. It was reasonably well received so I thought I'd flesh out my notes a bit and post them here.

The content is roughly the same as what I said except that when I talk I don't like to read (because I can't) so I give myself headings and ramble on about each one making 'humourous asides' as I go. Hence, the 'humourous asides' will be missing from these notes.

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Readings
Is. 53: 1-12
John 18:1-12

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I saw the new Superman film in the summer, it wasn’t a particularly good film but it had some interesting features:

Lois Lane (played by Kate Bosworth – no relation as far as I’m aware) says:
‘The World doesn’t need a saviour’, she is proven wrong.

There is a short speech from Superman’s father which features the following line:
The Kryptonian prophecy will be at last fulfilled. The son becomes the father - the father becomes the son."

Superman is stabbed in his side with a shard of Kryptonite

Superman is on a life support machine, as good as dead, when a female nurse finds his room empty and the window open.

The ‘resurrected’ Superman flies up into space and basks in unadulterated sunlight (gamma radiation, or something like that) in a cruciform pose

It seems that the movie producers deliberately styled Superman after Jesus, we may also find ourselves styling Jesus after Superman

The idea that Jesus is like Superman has some appeal
The Messianic hope of Israel tended to be in terms of a warrior who would bring political liberation for Israel from the Romans, or whoever might have been oppressing them at the time. In fact, some scholars would argue that intrinsic to the meaning of ‘messiah’ was the idea of the nationalist liberator for Israel. The image of the suffering servant is quite foreign to this view.

Apparently, there were many self-appointed messiahs in the middle of the first century who would whip up a band of followers and then go and get themselves killed by the Romans.

It might be in relation to this that John’s Jesus reflects bitterly:
I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; if another comes in his own name, you will accept him (Jn. 5:43)

Ben Kosiba (also known as Bar Kochba) was beheaded by the Romans in 135 AD after he led a major Jewish uprising. He amputated a finger (probably not a thumb as I claimed when delivering this talk) from each of his serving soldiers which suggests he was quite an impressive figure. The prominent Rabbi Akiba proclaimed him as ‘King Messiah’. He must have been pretty awesome in his time but now he’s almost completely unknown.

To some extent it seems to have appealed to John too
From today’s reading:
knowing all that was to happen to him, (Jesus seems to know everything in advance in John’s gospel.)

The same happens to a lesser extent in the other gospels.

When Jesus said to them, "I am he," they stepped back and fell to the ground.
The power that comes from a simple declaration of identity (Cf. YHWH – the one who is) seems to have blokey appeal. If Jeremy Clarkson wrote about the incident he'd probably say something like 'he just blew them away'.

[It's notable that the other gospels don't have this incident]

But there is a flipside:
Superman can be annoying, he’s too perfect, he seems smug and invulnerable, I can’t relate to him.

The same may be said of Jesus when he is portrayed as one who is in complete control
And they said, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus answered, "I told you that I am he".

Do we detect a petulant tone? This happens often in John, Jesus becomes argumentative and self-promoting, a less attractive personality to emulate. (Cf. 5:18ff; 7:14-30; 8:12-20; 8:23-26; 8:31-59!)

One possible explanation for this image of Jesus, in John, as one who seems to be in constant conflict with ‘the Jews’ (it needs to be remembered that John was also ethnically Jewish) is that it was written shortly after the Jewish leaders expelled the Christians from the synagogue. This left them exposed and vulnerable to brutal persecution from the Romans.

The bitterness felt by John and his community after being betrayed by the ones who they thought were their own people is reflected in John’s portrait of Jesus. (Cf. Mt. 10:21; Mk. 13:12, brother will betray brother) And judgment is implied on ‘the Jews’ for not believing Jesus’ clear and explicit message.

Two Important differences between Jesus and Superman

1. Superman is not human
One of the earliest heresies in the Church was called Docetism. According to which Jesus was not human but rather only seemed to be human. I’m not normally one to condemn heresies but this is one that we need to be aware of because it can easily creep into our thinking; I remember when I was younger I wasn’t sure whether I was allowed to think of Jesus as human.

2. Superman prevails by redemptive violence – Jesus by redemptive suffering

Jesus as the Suffering Servant
The picture of the suffering servant from Isaiah, though not necessarily intended to be about Jesus, seems to provide an appropriate picture all the same.

he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He didn’t wear a garish blue and red outfit with his underwear on the outside (as far as we know). The gospels tell us almost nothing about Jesus’ physical appearance, presumably his image was unremarkable.

He was despised and rejected by others; a man of suffering and acquainted with infirmity

When did you last see Superman with a cold? We can be reasonably sure that Jesus, as a human being, suffered minor illnesses from time to time, just like the rest of us. And we have all heard about his suffering.

as one from whom others hide their faces he was despised, and we held him of no account.

I saw a picture of a crucifix with Jesus looking contorted and emaciated. It's an ugly image, I could barely look. I tried to upload it but blogger won't let me for some reason, I may try again later.

I found Mel Gibson’s The Passion difficult to watch, I didn’t understand much of the dialogue (due to watching it in Poland where the subtitles were in Polish, while the soundtrack was in the relevant ancient languages) perhaps this made me focus on the images more. It was a harrowing experience to see such brutality; I could hardly speak for about two hours afterwards.

Luke’s inclusion of an eclipse in the scene of the crucifixion seems to suggest that even God couldn’t watch. (Lk. 23:44)

Unlike Superman
Jesus came as a human
Weak and vulnerable as a child

I know about kryptonite but Jesus lived with constant weakness as a human being, most of the time Superman is free from kryptonite

Superman also seems to have no psychological weakness – no doubt, no fear, he seems supremely confident in all situations.

I don’t think Jesus was like that

In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus prays earnestly, it is implied that he knows what is to come and he is not happy about it.

Luke 22:44 his sweat became like great drops of blood

Whether this is meant to be poetic or literal the message is clear. I’ve heard it said that sweating blood was known in WW1 and was seen as a sign of absolute terror.

Jesus last words
Mark 15:34-37 At three o'clock Jesus cried out with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" …

…Then Jesus gave a loud cry and breathed his last.
(A scream?)

Luke seems to be embarrassed about this and has ‘sanctified’ Jesus’ last words
Luke 23:46 Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said, "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit." Having said this, he breathed his last.

This is a much more serene picture, but also unrealistic I think.

It seems Jesus was left to die, cut off from the father doubting himself and in complete anguish.

As I was preparing this, it occurred to me that we can’t begin to understand how Jesus felt unless we can doubt his Messiahship. Jesus, who had known the Father’s presence in a very real way throughout his ministry, in the time of his most extreme trial suddenly felt deserted. If Jesus was not the Messiah, he might have suffered for nothing. It would be an awful thing to hang there in agony wondering whether what you were doing would have any meaning or not.

So we have this chilling vision of Jesus suffering not just physically but also mentally, doubting himself and what he thought was his mission. His last words express a feeling of abandonment possibly failure as well. Crying out in a loud voice, (screaming?) in inexpressible anguish his life ends.

We may draw comfort from the image of Jesus as one who is in control, with immense power; we can look to the risen Christ for this.

However, I find the image of Jesus as one who knew weakness, fear, and doubt, just like I know weakness, fear, and doubt, easier to relate to and also comforting. Not only can he sympathise with me but also I can sympathise with him.

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Post script – From a historical point of view I might add that even if Jesus was not the Messiah it does not mean his death was for nothing. For many it has become the defining moment of history a symbol of righteous suffering and the ultimate example for us to follow.

Drawing a blank

I was playing Scrabble with my dad a couple of weeks ago when I had the good fortune to pick up a blank tile at the very start of the game. I couldn't quite make a seven-letter word with it so I held on to it in the hope that I would be able to use it to maximum effect before the end of the game. (If you manage to put all of your tiles down at once you get a 50pt bonus, which is a considerable advantage when the average score is about 20) Somehow, the right letters never came and I kept the blank until the last go. It seemed that chasing the impossible dream had ruined my game, even though I still won, I think.


This reminds me of my predicament. I have a dream, I don't know whether my dream will ever be fulfilled but if I 'play my blank', if I compromise my ideals, then the dream is ruined, or at the very least tainted. I may have some opportunities to 'play my blank' but not in any really rewarding way and I think I would hate myself if I did.


All in all, life is a gamble but I have to be true to myself.

As if proof were needed.

In an odd kind of way, I'm proud of this.

Fleeting Mind

I don't know much about Karl Marx except maybe that he was a 'major boar' and he famously said, 'religion is the opiate of the masses'.

I heard it said once that he meant that religion was used to deaden the people's senses to their true situation. And being oblivious to their 'true situation', they were not likely to take revolutionary action to change it.

That may or may not have been true in Marx's context but for me I think the situation is different. For me, entertainment and the company of friends provide pleasant distractions that insulate me from my inner world. It is when I'm faced with my sense of aloneness and lostness that religion is born.

The curious state of alienation and confusion of man in modern society is perhaps more ‘bearable’ because it is lived in common, with a multitude of distractions and escapes... (Thomas Merton, Contemplative Prayer, Darton, Longman and Todd, Lodon. 1973. p.26)

Since 1973 when Merton wrote this, the 'multitude of distractions and escapes' has grown considerably with the advent of computer games, satelite tv, the internet, and mobile phones. Surely, the entertainment industry, is now the 'opiate' of which Marx speaks.

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On the other hand, some films, plays, books, and tv series, as worthy pieces of art, probe the human condition and evoke in their viewers either a sense of the spiritual or a sense of their lostness, or both. And while the company of friends might distract me from my spiritual poverty, I would want to affirm what I think Bonhoeffer said (I know about as much about Bonhoeffer as I do about Marx) that we find the presence of God in fellowship with others. As introverted as I may be, I need the company of friends, more than most maybe.

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I wrote that a few days ago and I don't really know where I was going with it so I'll leave it there. I often find myself in a pensive mood, self-indulgently trying to think of clever ways to express my existential crisis. (Existential crisis eh? Pretentious or what?) Phrases come to mind that might begin to express my feeling of inner emptiness combined with faint hope, and I think I should try to construct a poem, or a poetic prayer, out of them, or something. But usually, it's just one idea, and it takes a lot of work to make any more of it. But more problematically, when I come to write down such things, the mood has passed and I just don't feel the same. To attempt writing in the same vein would feel a bit false.

A similar problem occurred in a relationship. The things that bothered me about the situation never seemed to bother me so much when we were together. But in solitary moments I knew something was wrong. I never figured out how to verbalise the problem, not in any acceptable way at least, I just knew we weren't going to be happy if we stayed together.

Anyway, perhaps becuase I've found it so difficult to find much meaningful fellowship this year, the idea of living within a community has started to appeal. I don't want to be a monk or anything, but perhaps time spent at Taize, or with the Iona Community might prove instructive, or I might hate it. But besides that, I need to find a new place to live for September and I'm looking into the possibility of living on campus at a nearby theological college, where they usually have some spare rooms, or in an international student hostel (they usally have a few British students too). I'll let you know what happens.

Doh!

I have an unenviable knack for alienating myself from people I care about.

It's most distressing.

A Grand Day Out

Up at 4am, got a taxi at 5, checked in at 5:30 boarded the plane at 6:45 and landed in Edinburgh at 8. Reached the city centre at about 9:00.


Once there, we walked around for a bit, awe-struck by the grandeur of the city, and went into a cafe called 'chocolate soup' for a quick snack before going to New College for the conference.

There's a new edition of the Greek NT coming out, two scholars from Muenster in Germany spoke to us about their work, new methodology, new ideas. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the best position to fully understand it but I did manage to ask a question -- Chris said it was more like an accusation, it wasn't meant to come out that way. Anyway, it's quite a privilege to have heard from scholars at the forefront of their discipline. (David Parker, one of our scholars in Birmingham is also at the forefront, he and his team are collaborating with the Germans) Particularly impressive is the digital version that will be available. If you're into that sort of thing, you can read a bit about it, and preview some of the features here: http://nestlealand.uni-muenster.de/

We finished at New college at about 4pm which left us with a few hours in which to be tourists.

Then back to the airport, on the plane at 9:30 and back into brum at 10:30. Some people got a taxi, but some of us knew the train would be cheaper, and it was. Unfortunately, there were about 1000 people on the platform. They'd been to a concert at the NEC, a Take That concert! We did manage to get onto the train when it arrived but we had to stand in close proximity all the way to New Street. Finally got home just after midnight, said hello to two of my housemates and went to bed feeling very, very tired.

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Cold Turkey

I was very tempted to buy a can of Coke last night, to help me study. For the weekend I was at home alone and even more tempted by one of the cans of Pepsi that's been lying around for over a month now. But I resisted, and I've rediscovered the joy of Vimto. Just a few more days to go now. Then I can blow my mind with a heady cocktail caffeine and alcohol, not that I want to.

The fly was still there, in the same place on my bedroom wall, must be about six months without moving now. I think it's safe to say it's probably dead. Possibly, it's there to monitor my sleep. If I sleep well, that's a sign of intoxication. If I spend the night restlessly tossing and turning, that's a sign of a caffeine overdose.

Oh, yes, I was going to tell you, I'm going to be confirmed this Saturday at the cathedral in Birmingham. I don't want to make a big thing of it, I think it's a similar step to the one I took when I was baprised, as an adult. It seems that if I want to work within the CofE, confirmation is a necessary qualification.

Tinkety tonk!

I'm a Page 3 Stunner

I picked up a copy of Redbrick, (the university newspaper, not a Marxist tract as my mum thought) a couple of weeks ago and was surprised to find this on page three.
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Yes, that's me in the background, losing a chapatti race, to a girl. (I think it's my arm in the side pictures too.) Fortunately, the picture is too small for you to see the strained expression on my face as I struggled to catch up after dropping my chapatti for the second time.

The legacy continues

I put my car through its MOT today, it failed with flying colours. There are eight seperate faults that it failed on, some quite trivial I think, some more serious. You should just about be able to make them out below.

I can't help feeling that I'm still suffering the effects from when my nice car was stolen, over a year ago now.

The bally, ballyness of it all

I wasn't going to post yet, I have a photo to share but I need to scan it first, or acquire an electronic version from somewhere else. So that will have to wait.

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Anyway, I'm feeling fed up and I wanted to share it, because I know everyone enjoys listening to me moan. And blogs are supposed to be about being honest, I think. I went to a party last night, and then another tonight. I don't like parties, they always make me feel depressed.

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I thought I'd made a bit of progress in terms of building up a rapport with a few people but I still feel like I don't really fit in very much. I still feel that I have relatively conservative values compared with a lot of people in the chaplaincy, and I don't think it's just a matter of age. For some reason the laxity of others bothers me. I don't know if it's because of the witness to others it gives or just because I don't like to see people behave in such a way. And I really don't want to be the sort of person who tells others what they should and shouldn't be doing all the time.

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There was some talk of Christians being repressed last night. I'm not really sure what that means. I suppose I'm quite repressed but I'm not sure it's always a bad thing. I'm more likely to bite my tongue than have an argument with someone.

Penitence

Referring back to the dream, (see below) there was a reason why I didn't want the sergeant to give me a horrible duty for the morning. I had volunteered to do the penetential prayers for the ecumenical service, and I hadn't prepared them yet.
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It's funny how reality invades our dreamspace. For indeed, I did have a penetential prayer to prepare. And I was quite nervous about it because I was raised in an informal tradition where prayer is more off-the-cuff without set responses from the congregation. The fact that I would need to read it didn't help, I always trip over my words terribly when I read aloud.
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Someone advised me to look through some books of prayers, so I did, but I decided to just write one myself. Besides, I'd got an idea of what I wanted to do.
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When the time came, I garbled it quite badly. So I've decided to put it here, where it might stand, at least once, in a less garbled fashion.

(The theme of the service was helping refugees)

Before we proceed with our penitential prayer, I thought it might be a good idea to remind ourselves of God’s standards

Matt. 5 21 "You have heard that it was said… 'You shall not murder'; and 'whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.' 22 But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment...

27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart...

38 "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' 39 But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also...

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.' 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...

48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

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Let’s take a few moments to consider our shortcomings before God.

When I say: Have Mercy on us, Lord

You respond with: Lord, have mercy
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Father God,

For the times when we have been impatient, and proud, and injured others with demeaning language. And for the times when we have underestimated others and been unwilling to see the good in them, or to understand them. And for the times when we have projected our own faults on to others.

Have mercy on us, Lord

For the times when we’ve viewed others as objects and not as complete human beings. When we haven’t resisted our image driven culture and fallen into the trap of judging people by the way they look.

Have Mercy on us, Lord

For those times when we have sought revenge, and to administer our own justice. When we have been judgmental and unforgiving. When we have been hurt and unwilling to let go.

Have mercy on us, Lord

And thinking about refugees, for the times when we haven’t loved our neighbours, when we haven’t given the help we were capable of giving. When we haven’t made the effort of making outsiders feel welcome, and when we have thought of them as a nuisance, or as parasites.

Have Mercy on us, Lord

And for the times when we have not made the effort to understand those whom we find difficult, and those who oppose us, and we have failed to be a blessing to them.

Have Mercy on us, Lord

And now as we go forward, let our confessions turn to repentance, and let us be perfected in your love and your glory.

Amen

To be fair, this wasn't entirely without agenda, I'd been thinking that we needed to be reminded of God's standards for a while (Or at least, what I think are God's standards). It seems to me that some, mainly liberal-ish types, like to emphasize social action and dismiss personal morality. Meanwhile, others, usually evangelicals, emphasize personal morality but dismiss social action.

I tend to lean towards personal morality but I think I should probably lean the other way. Maybe I should swing both ways, maybe that's something else...

Reverie

I had an interesting dream this morning.
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I was at home, on the farm, taking part in a run. I was cheating slightly as I seemed to be attached to a balloon which enabled me to float as I ran. One stride would take me about 10 metres - floaty running is a recurring theme in my dreams.

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We were running along the top of the field where the cattle were, I had to be careful not to run into them as it's difficult to change direction while floating. As we reached the corner of the barn, the others turned right and went into the barn. Unfortunately, I floated off over the fence and drifted down the field. I thrashed about wildly but I couldn't turn myself around. I found myself hovering above a cow and I think I used its head to propel myself back to the barn.

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Entering the barn, I realised that the others were in the army, and I was just accompanying them as an observer. As I reached them, I tried to fit into the line but overshot it and had to readjust myself several times. Their sergeant, who was inspecting them, wasn't very impressed by this and told me I'd have to be up at 7:00 in the morning and perform some horrible task, which I've forgotten now but I think it involved water. He didn't seem to understand that I was just observing.

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The other soldiers were surprisingly supportive and I told them so. One of them, I think, was Paul from Coventry, who was on my printing course from 1992-95. Another was someone from the Catholic society here. Afterwards they sat around and played various musical instruments quietly. I strummed someone's guitar and it seemed to have a natural overdrive effect, and reverb. But we decided it was just the acoustics in the barn playing tricks.

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What does it all mean?

Ashes to ashes

I went into the ecumenical service today and found the room much fuller than usual. Looking around I saw no one familiar, so I looked at my watch and checked mentally whether it was the right day or not. As far as I could tell, I'd got the right time and day, so I found a seat and sat down. As I sat there I kept looking around for people I recognised, half convinced they were playing a trick on me. Five minutes later, in walked two people I knew... in medeival costume. To start with I felt mildly amused and thought everyone must have found it strange. Then I started sniggering and then openly laughing. The two medeival characters were a couple of rows forward from me (that's the price you pay for arriving late) and I don't think they noticed but a few people around me did.

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We had an 'ashing' ritual in the service, (because it's Ash Wednesday) which involved having an ash cross smeared on our foreheads by the ministers present. It was completely new to me and I don't really know what the point of it is. I'm ashamed to say I don't know the exact origins of lent either. What I do know is that I'm going to have to survive for forty days without cola of any sort now - I feel like Dougal trying to give up roller-blading. Actually, I haven't touched a drop since last Tuesday.

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I've decided I might as well give up alcohol while I'm at it. If you want to do the same (re. alcohol, not cola) you can register with www.thirstforlife.org which may, or may not, make a difference.

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I'm going to add a couple of links now. One for Nathan's web-page which I was told about just the other day. Those of you who know Nathan will know he's a real character. The other, I'm afraid, is my page at bebo, one I obtained ages ago but it seems that the folks at bebo have improved their service since then. Anyway, there's quite a few photos there, there will be more soon. And I know you're all gagging for more photos from Korea. Those of you who are registered with bebo will be able to take my quiz, if you haven't already, and leave comments, and draw pictures.

Past Glory

Anyone who has seen Only Fools and Horses will be familiar with the fact that Uncle Albert always starts his stories with the words, 'during the war...' Likewise, I'm quite likely to start a fair proportion of my more interesting stories (IMHO) with the words, 'when I was in Korea...' I was there for five weeks in the summer of 2003 and it was probably the most amazing experience of my life. So, here for those who haven't heard all my stories, is the report I wrote when I got back. I wasn't actually an academic assignment, so I tried to adopt a reasonably informal tone, like a travel writer; judge my success for yourselves. Apologies for the length, twice as long as it was supposed to be. I couldn't put captions on the pictures so I've put them in square brackets and tried to line them up over the pictures where possible. I've added a couple of DVD style extra features too.

Placement Report:
Mission Training Institute, Seoul, South Korea
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A Short Introduction
The Mission Training Institute (MTI) in Seoul mainly focuses on training missionary candidates by improving their English. It is supposed that if missionaries learn English, then they can go anywhere in the world. To this end, apart from learning English in class, the students have to ‘live in English’. There are signs around the building that read ‘Speak in English at all times’. The situation is slightly absurd when I think about it. Thirty Koreans go to a place in their own capital city and struggle to communicate with each other in English, all the while able to communicate perfectly in Korean. However, it is good preparation for when they find themselves on the mission field where no one speaks Korean.
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My purpose in being there was to assist in teaching conversational English. By virtue of being English myself, I was reckoned to be reasonably fluent. I took three different classes, English Conversation, English Bible Study, and English Idioms. It was my first teaching experience and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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First Impressions [A typical summer's day over Seoul]
I was forewarned that it would be hot, so stepping out of the airport I was ready for a wave of hot air. It was warm but not as I expected it to be. Like most summer days in Korea, it was very dull. I could not see the sun at all and visibility was limited to around 200 metres of clear vision. Nevertheless, it was very humid and felt a little like a steam room although not quite so hot. The airport was clean and air-conditioned, as was the coach which took me, (and Song-Deok whom was sent to fetch me) from the airport to Seoul. The coach also had a television and large comfortable seats. The transport system in general seemed to be clean and efficient, this was confirmed throughout my stay, both on buses and the underground system. Moreover, public transport is inexpensive, a single ticket on the underground in Central Seoul costs around 35p, compared with a zone 1 single in London for £1.80 When we disembarked in Seoul I noticed a strange smell, it was pollution. As a large city, Seoul has a pollution problem, so much so, that when it rains, even if it is only light rain or drizzle, everyone carries an umbrella because they are worried that acid rain will make their hair fall out.
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Arriving at MTI I made my first cultural faux pas, (as far as I know), I walked in to the dormitory area with my shoes on. Koreans always remove their shoes before entering their home - sometimes restaurants and tea-shops also have areas where customers sit on the floor at low tables without their shoes. It was around lunchtime when I arrived and they had made roast beef as a welcoming meal, it was very nice of them but it was nothing like home cooking. After lunch Mihyang (the associate director of MTI) told me I should do the washing-up, I assumed it to be a joke and laughed because I had just completed a 24-hour trip with very little sleep, but thinking back it was probably meant as a test to see if I was willing to do it. One of the students who was there took pity on me and did the washing with the help of Lyndon another teacher. This student was Mini who happened to be in my class, a fine Christian lady.
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Some basic facts about South Korea
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People
The population of South Korea is around 47 million. Of which around 10 million were living in Seoul in 2000. My students reckoned that the population of Seoul is now over 12 million and if the numbers of people who live in smaller satellite cities are added then it may be closer to 20 million. Around 80% of all Koreans live in cities. Other major Korean cities include Pusan and Olsan; these two cities were badly hit by a typhoon recently. (It was recent at the time of writing, not so recent now)
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The official language of Korea is Korean, which is distinct from Japanese and Chinese, there is no other native language. The Korean people (North and South) are of one ethnic group and have inhabited their land for the last two thousand years. There are immigrants in Korea including a small Chinese community, American Soldiers and other westerners who have business interests there. Nevertheless, none of these groups have significant numbers. English may be counted as the second language, for instance, signs are written in Korean with English underneath. This is an indication of Korea’s commitment to international business.
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Religion and Ideology
Despite its Buddhist heritage, South Korea is now one of the most Christian societies in the world. (It should be noted at this point that Korea has no official religion now.) In 1997, 47% of the population were Buddhist while 49% were Christian, (38% Protestant 11% Catholic). As Christianity is relatively new in Korea, there are few nominal Christians. Seoul is famous for being the home of the largest church in the world. David Yonggi-Cho’s congregation of 750,000 dwarfs many cities, let alone churches. Apart from Christians and Buddhists around 3% of Koreans are Confucianist and 1% subscribe to other religions such as Islam and Hinduism.
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Social Structures
There is no class structure, as such, in Korea, neither is there a caste system. There once was a royal family but the monarchy was ended in 1910 and the last royal princess died in the mid 1980s. Korean society traditionally revolves around the family rather than the individual and the old are respected. The system of Korean language shows deference to the elder speaker. There are different greetings for addressing older people and younger people, as well as different titles for older brothers and younger brothers, etc… For this reason, Koreans seek to know each other’s age at their first meeting. Family roles are well defined, particularly in relation to the place of women. This is slowly changing due to western influence and urbanisation. As people have moved to city apartments they have not had room to house their extended families and so have lived in nuclear families instead. It is still not respectable for a married woman to work. In formal situations, it is normal for people to bow slightly when they meet. An MTI student was puzzled as to why I, as a westerner, bowed when we met, I could not explain, I was just trying to fit in. Another Korean female told me of her frustration at the pressure to conform in Korean society, she said that people are judged for being different; this particular female had experienced life in the West. The emphasis on families rather than individuals has its good points though. There are far fewer beggars in Seoul compared to London. Tae-Yon Jun tells me that this is because if someone becomes a beggar it is a disgrace for his or her family. Therefore, when someone is poor their family will look after them to avoid the disgrace of having a beggar in the family.
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Politics
Korea has a turbulent history due to habitual invasions from Japan and more occasional invasions from the Manchus and the Chinese, as well as their own civil war.
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[Gyeonbok-Gong one of many palaces that was burnt down by Japanese invaders]
Korea was ruled by the Korean Yi dynasty from 1392-1910. This was not a completely peaceful time though; it became a vassal state to China in 1644. In 1904-5, the Japanese conquered Korea and in 1910 annexed the country. There they remained crushing resistance until the end of the Second World War. With Japan defeated after the war, America and Russia divided Korea, with the Americans ruling the south and the Russians the North. The Russian influence lives on in the North through Communist rule. (The American influence lives on in the South through McDonalds) In 1948, the Republic of South Korea was created, (it was an authoritarian regime) while the North became an independent communist state. In 1950, North Korea invaded the South; this was the beginning of the Korean War. Each side (or each leader) wanted to rule over a united Korea. America with UN backing entered the fray on the side of the South; meanwhile, China unofficially assisted the North. Stalemate resulted and in 1953 came an armistice and the establishment of the de-militarised zone between the two countries. There are still American soldiers in South Korea; I saw many.
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In 1960, Syngman Rhee, who had been president since 1948 resigned; it was one of his more popular decisions. A year later, he was replaced by another authoritarian (Park Chung-Hee) after a military coup. Amid mounting pressure for civilian government, Park was re-elected in 1963, (and then again in 1967 and 1971). Opposition to Park was suppressed by martial law in 1972 and he was finally toppled when Chun Doo-Huan, one of his generals, assassinated him in 1979. Park’s rule had seen major economic development especially in manufacturing and export, this continues today.
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[The Korean Paliament Building]
Chun was as bad as his predecessor and had his political rivals arrested. In 1987, Chun chose Roh Tae-Woo to be his successor and a year later came Korea’s first genuinely free multi-party democracy after much domestic and international pressure. Significantly, this was just prior to Korea’s hosting of the Olympic games. Roh was voted out in 1992 and replaced by Kim Young Sam. Chun and Roh were tried for their past crimes and in 1996, Chun was sentenced to death while Roh was sent to prison for 22 years. Korea has continued as a multi-party presidential democracy since then but there have been many scandals, in particular a steel controversy in 1997, which saw the cabinet forced to resign. According to my students, corruption rumours persist.
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Since 1991, Korea has been in the UN and has re-established links with Japan (1961) and China (1992). The Korean people might have good reason to dislike the Japanese, after centuries of violence and invasions, so it seems surprising that they should have established links with Japan so quickly, much earlier than with China. Tae-Yon Jun confirmed my suspicion that this was done for economic reasons by Park.

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Industry and Economics
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Fifty years ago, Korea was one of the world’s poorest nations yet by 1996 it was a member of the OECD. This represents remarkable progress; some call it the miracle of the Han River. Korea is home to several large corporations, such as, Hyundai, Samsung, LG, and Daewoo. It is also a world leader in shipbuilding. In 1994, Korea had a world GNP rating of 13th. It is fair to say that the transformation from economic desperation to industrial power is complete. Tae-Yon tells me that the reason that Koreans work so hard is because many have known poverty and so try to avoid it
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Around 3 million of Korea’s 47 million people are involved in agriculture, the overwhelming majority of whom grow rice. Korean farmers also keep livestock, in particular cattle, pigs and chickens. However, I never saw any on my travels, all I saw were rice paddies. Rice is eaten with every meal and it is used in many ways, apart from the usual boiled or fried. For example: 1. Puffed rice is used for making crisp-like savoury snacks, or popcorn-like sweet snacks; it is even used to feed fish. 2. Sticky rice, (a formless sticky substance, presumably made from rice) is used to make sweet cakes as well as very spicy snacks that look like frankfurters.
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Geography [Typica Korean Countryside, tree covered hills]
Seoul itself is a huge city, sprawling throughout the mountains that surround it. The flatter areas, between the mountains, are built upon. Most Seoul buildings are more than five floors high and the majority of Seoul dwellers live and work in high-rise apartments and office buildings. Outside the city, the landscape is almost exclusively, (in my experience) made up of tree-covered mountains. The flat areas are used for rice paddies.
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The Church in Korea
Roman Catholic missionaries did not arrive in Korea until the late 1700s and Protestant missionaries not for a further 100 years. However, these two branches of Christianity now account for nearly half of the Korean population. Christianity has clearly spread quickly and had a profound effect on Korea, particularly in relation to modernisation.
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My experience of Korean Christianity, apart from what I saw at MTI is limited to three churches. It would seem rude to travel all the way to Korea and not visit the Yoido Full Gospel Church, which takes up a whole city block. It is the world’s largest church and has services for all age groups and worship styles. On visiting, I was a little disappointed with the experience. I did enjoy some of the worship; although it was in Korean and the songs sounded dated, there was something uplifting about the choir, which had more than 100 people in it. The sermon was difficult to listen to because the English translator was not very good. For this reason, I listened to the Chinese translator for a while because it sounded funny, and then to the Spanish to see if I could understand it. Looking at the notes that we were given, I noticed that Bible verses were taken in isolation from different contexts in order for pastor Cho to make his point; ‘not good exegesis’ I thought. In the building, there were around 20,000 people; it’s hard to get a sense of community among such a group. After the service, there was a reception for English speaking visitors. Apart from my fellow MTI teachers, and myself, almost everyone at the reception was an American soldier; it was quite a surreal experience. The focus of the video that we were shown seemed to be the life of Yonggi-Cho and how great he is. This did not impress us much.
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The Sarang Church apparently has 25,000 regular worshipers and what was good for me, and my fellow teachers, was the fact that they have an English language service. Around 300 people attend the English services, most of whom are Koreans wishing to improve their language skills. Other than that, there are a few Americans and other westerners. It is a very American style service and the church seems to have all the trappings of a successful church, television screens, a good band, and a young pastor in a sharp suit. For me it was the best church because I could understand what was going on but something about the successful, slick presentation disturbed me slightly. I think I would say that this service is too image-conscious.
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I went to Sannsung Presbyterian church one morning because I got up late and it was the closest church. I was welcomed by everyone I saw and I greeted them with my best ‘anyong hasayaw’. I didn’t understand anything because it was all in Korean with no translation, (which made the half-hour sermon even more difficult than usual to sit through) but it felt just like any Presbyterian church in Belfast, Fitzroy or Lowe Memorial for instance.
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I was deeply impressed with the Christians that I met at MTI. They were all from different churches, some from different denominations. What impressed me was their enthusiasm and hard work. Every Friday afternoon the students had to clean the MTI premises. Everyone got on with what they had to do, some were pastors, some were students and some were teachers but none of them complained about having to clean. In fact, they smiled as they did it, and co-operated together, there were no egos amongst them. Each morning we had devotions and I was impressed that the students really threw themselves into their worship and sang loudly. I was also impressed by my class, I was worried that I would not connect well with them or that they would be very serious. Actually, we connected well and they really enjoyed laughing and joking. So much so that we had to move to a different room, the noise we made disturbed the other classes.
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Some information about MTI [Mihyang Choi with her Family]
Dr Young-Jun Son founded the Mission Training Institute in 1983. He and his wife had been sent from America by the OPC (Orthodox Presbyterian Church) in 1977 with a mandate to establish a mission training facility in Korea. Trainees were taken from Korean churches and engaged in four-week residential courses. Since then MTI has grown and now offers 3 month courses as well as intensive four-week courses throughout the year. To date more than 600 missionaries have been trained at MTI and gone on to serve overseas. Dr Son retired and moved to America earlier this year but his shadow still looms large over MTI, I often heard him referred to, sometimes in almost reverential terms. Dr Son is quoted as saying “Korean Christians are like tigers in a cage, the key to open it is English. Give them English, and they will roam the world with the gospel!” The aim of MTI is to set free the tigers. Not everything that I heard about Dr Son was good though, one of my fellow teachers told me that he used to take younger teachers (volunteers) out of class and tell them that he did not like their way of teaching. Thankfully, Mihyang Choi, Dr Son’s deputy, is not like that, she was encouraging and gave useful ideas for classes.
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Brief Reflections on My Experience at MTI
I was nervous before going to Korea, not only was I going to a country that was very different from my own but I was also going to be involved in teaching, something that I had not done before. As for culture shock, I cannot say that I experienced any. MTI gives its teachers a false environment that is neither truly Korean nor truly western. However, because of the rules about speaking English at all times, the students are more likely to experience culture shock than the teachers. Teaching also turned out to be a positive experience for me, as I commented above, my class were very welcoming and enjoyed joking with me.
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Some things that I found strange at MTI
The first thing that I found strange was the rules. I never kept a list of the rules but I remember thinking (and Lyndon, a fellow teacher, agreed) that they were incredibly strict. For instance, the residential students (all mature adults) were not allowed to leave the MTI building between Monday and Friday without special permission. We felt that any institution with such strict rules in the UK would incite mutiny.
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Food is always a central part of life and I did struggle at times, the Koreans’ favourite food kimchi, is a kind of fermented and spiced cabbage. It smells rotten and ruins everything it touches. Koreans often see it as a cure-all; some even believe that kimchi is the reason that SARS did not affected Korea. Another food related observation, at meal times if one potato, or some such item, were left it would be taken by the first to finish, it was not offered to others at the table.
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As a very English Brit, I was surprised to see that when Koreans meet on a footpath or in a hallway they do not move out of each other’s way. The students found me very strange because I always moved out of their way, they laughed a lot about that.
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Being a westerner in Seoul is a funny experience; it is difficult to hide, as one looks obviously different. It was a nice experience though; there was no sense of hostility. Instead, school children often waved and said ‘hello’. (This led to me appearing on Korean TV, I think) Sometimes adults stopped us too and tried to engage us in conversation, it was obvious that they just wanted to practice their English. The main thing is that as a westerner I was well treated and made to feel special, almost like a celebrity, that is strange I think.
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One day we all went to a park and some of the students went walking along a path. I was left behind and so walked quickly to catch up. The path had various grades of cobblestones in some places, in other places it had pieces of wood sticking out of the ground. Speeding along towards my friends I noticed a man hobbling along without shoes. I thought he must have been insane; those stones would have really hurt my feet. Catching up to my friends I noticed that they were not wearing shoes either. Then I found out that the stones and wooden blocks were designed to give foot massage (torture). This is linked to oriental medicine and, supposedly, different parts of the feet are linked to different organs. Thus, when I finished the course I was asked which part of my feet hurt, the answer was obvious.
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[DVD style extra feature - Jeahoon, the doctor, when explaining which part of the foot was connected with what condition, said that if your heel hurts it means you're important. I thought about this and said I thought it made sense, if you're important, you probably walk with more upright posture and put more weight on your heels. I even started to think that maybe my heels were hurting. Jeahoon replied and said something about high-heeled shoes which I didn't understand at all. But that didn't matter because I'd got proof that I was important. As we were leaving the park Lyndon informed me that Jeahoon had said that if your heels hurt it means you're impotent, not important. Naturally, my heels stopped hurting at that point.]
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Something Negative
MTI relies on volunteers for teachers and for this reason, they cannot be very fussy about whom they take on as teachers. The only criteria they have are that teachers should be Christians and native English speakers. One teacher, who has a long-term contact with MTI, came in once a week to lecture on Cross Cultural Communication. She was a very strange lady, she did not seem to like anyone, one of my fellow teachers confessed that he found her intimidating. A Korean, former MTI student, confided that she wondered whether this teacher was really a Christian. I do not think that it is good for anyone, if someone with such an attitude is allowed to minister. At the same time, I realise that MTI have to work with what they are given.
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Summary of my classes:
1. English Conversation
I had seven students for these classes, they were ‘my class’. My class were of intermediate level but most of them were very good at speaking but less good at writing. The class was full of characters and, as noted above, we were relocated because we made too much noise. My role in these classes was to foster conversation. Each class had a book to work through too but I stopped using the book after the second week, instead I found a book of discussion starters from which I selected topics of conversation. The class met for three hours most days and sometimes I was caught a little unprepared.
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2. Bible study
There were just four students in my Bible study class Yongkyu, Youngkyu, Hyunkyu and Jongeon; they were the highest-level group. In this class, I was supposed to be silent. The students were to lead a Bible study each day and the teachers were only supposed to speak in order to correct English, we were not there to input any theological points. I found some of their views naïve or occasionally strange; viewing everything that Abraham does as from a pure motive, or Melchizadek as a supernatural being. I sometimes found it hard to follow what was going on in this class, as I was not involved in the discussion.
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3. Idioms
Each day there was an hour given over for elective classes. Some chose to learn theological vocabulary, others international etiquette and others still cursive writing. I was lucky because I was given the job of teaching idioms. The class ran for two weeks and after that the students changed around and took another option. For the first 2 weeks there were 3 in the class, for the second 2 weeks there were 9. I worked harder for these classes than any other. I also enjoyed them more. In each lesson we learned around ten idioms and then I wrote a story featuring those idioms, and the students in the class, as well as myself and another teacher. Then in the next class we would read the story, which would function as revision.
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Other Duties
Each morning at MTI there was a devotional service at 6:30am. I missed a couple of these through sleep. Thankfully, I did not miss them on the two occasions when I had to speak. I do not do a lot of speaking so it was quite a big thing for me. Moreover, I had to speak with a student as translator. This meant giving my notes to him the day before and, more importantly, sticking rigidly to the script so that he would not be confused. My first message was a testimonial one which I tried to link to the story of Joseph and the theme of dreams and ambitions. My second drew from Paul’s illustration of the body and encouraged the students to respect whatever people they find on the mission field, and more importantly, to respect themselves and not let themselves be treated as second-class citizens by western missionaries or anyone else. Both of my messages seemed to be well received and students and staff encouraged me after each one, particularly the first one which was more personal.
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Final Remarks
As for my other adventures in Korea, if they were all written down, I suppose there would not be enough room in the library for all the books that would be written. I am glad that I went to Korea and I would recommend this placement to any native English speaker who has a basic respect for others, and would treat their students as equals.

gringo, hopton, donkey, jeremy..?

I did something very stupid yesterday. I managed to lock myself out of my computer.
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How? I don't hear you ask, so I'll tell you.
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My operating system insists on making me change my password every month or so, and yesterday was D-day. For some reason, I tend to use words that don't mean anything to me for passwords. It was 'gringo' before, and when I changed it yesterday, a word came to mind that I thought I'd remember. But when I came in later, I was horrified to find that I hadn't got a clue of what it was. Though, I was fairly sure it was six letters long, and two syllables.
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Having switched the computer on, I had a few guesses, none of which was successful. But the worst thing is that the operating system has no safety-net that I could find, no secret question, or any of that stuff. This was quite stressful considering the amount of work I've done on my computer lately - textual analysis and stuff, you wouldn't understand. So it seemed my only hope was to remember the password, whatever it was.
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I decided to write down each guess and mark them off as they were tried. How many six-letter words can there be? Then, I thought if I slept on it I might remember when I woke up. I nearly got to sleep at one point but became convinced that the word I was looking for was 'bonkers' (seven letters, I know). So, it switched the computer on again and tried it. Not 'bonker', 'bonkers', 'conker' or 'conkers'.
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I tried to sleep again, then had another idea of how I might get around the problem, it didn't work. I put the radio on and something in the news reminded me of something, I typed in ****** nervously, and yes, I'm back in. I've written it down now too.
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So let that be a lesson to you, and to me.
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I've added two more links as well, to celebrate, maybe. Two old websites that bring back good memories. Paul's pictures and Nathan's music. Be sure to check-out the quad bike pictures, it really was me doing the jump, though, Paul's definition of a 'sand dune' is, perhaps, questionable.

Radical Sacrifice

I think it's fair to say that I'm not a very disciplined person. It's fortunate for me that I don't have too many dangerous vices. (Unless you count baked bean abuse) I've never made a new year's resolution, I usually think it's a bit pointless. The same goes for giving things up for lent. Besides, people in the churches I grew up in were less inclined to follow such traditions.

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But now I'm a member of the Anglican Society in the university. In fact, I'm the treasurer, as of last Sunday. ('The money was just resting in my account' Fr. Ted Crilly) Anyway, hanging around with Anglicans, Methodists and Catholics, as I do occasionally these days, it came to my attention that some of the Methodists were giving up alcohol for lent and they were inviting others to do the same. I think it was said that it would be an act of solidarity with those suffering the effects of alcohol abuse. It seemed like a reasonable idea to me, and some of the people I know might benefit from a bit of abstinance, saying no more.

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So, I'm not going to give up alcohol for lent. For me, alcohol doesn't really appeal that much. I probably average about one pint of cider every two weeks, and I wouldn't miss it much. Therefore, I've decided, I'm going to give up cola, in all it's diabolical forms. Starting from whenever it is (1st March?) for forty(?) days, none of the following shall pass my lips:

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Coke/Diet/Cherry

Pepsi/Diet/Max

Dr Pepper

Supermarket brand cola

Any others I can't think of...

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I will allow myself lemonade/Sprite - no need to go completely mad - but mainly I'll try to make sure I drink orange juice. I expect you all to quiz me when lent starts, to make sure I don't fall off the wagon.